If you’re of a certain age you may remember fine dining with white linen table cloths, numerous utensils on the table and trying to figure out which fork to use when – always start from the outside and work your way in – and the waitstaff always seemed to know exactly when you were finished and how to properly pace the service.
This is actually a somewhat informal setting
But today – today our fast-paced society is all about hurry, hurry, ding, ding and with the popularity of restaurants such as Olive Garden, Chilie’s, Red Robin and Applebee’s, where there are crayons on the table instead of linen, it’s not hard to understand why fine dining service has, for the most part, become a lost art.
That’s not to say though that there aren’t fine dining establishments out there – there are, but the service in your average every day restaurant (and Bed & Breakfast Inn) is not up to par because the waitstaff isn’t being trained, because the management isn’t being trained, because the franchise owner isn’t being trained… and on it goes.
Picture in your head the last time you went out to dinner. Got it? Okay. Did the waitstaff wait until everyone at your table was finished eating before they began to clear plates? If the answer is no, that’s not good. What’s the big deal you say? Well, look at it from the perspective of the person who is still eating. Nothing like making that last person feel awkward! Has that happened to you, have you been the last person at the table eating while all other plates have been cleared?
Of course there are exceptions to every rule and even Abi with his 20+ years of fine dining service will bend the rule from time to time. When we have a full house, we serve up to 10 – 12 guests. Whenever possible we seat guests at one large community table so they can easily chit-chat over breakfast.
Happy guests!
Now normally, Abi will not clear until the entire table has finished first course. But, on occasion, we will have a guest that is oblivious not tuned in to others at the table and will sit and make love to a cluster of grapes beyond a reasonable amount of time. When that happens Abi will clear all others except for the slow poke and his/her spouse/partner. We never leave just one person with a plate in front of them.
With all of that being said, customers/guests can play an equal part of the equation when it comes to less than stellar service. In the Court of Table Etiquette, I give you exhibit A:
Which one indicates the person is finished?
If the waitstaff approaches a table to clear and sees these two plates, which one indicates the person is finished? Certainly, not the one on the left. It can be noted that these are real scenarios from our dining room. Ahem.
And now, Exhibit B:
Is this person finished eating?
Put yourself in the waitstaff’s position. Would you see this plate and think the person is finished? What’s funny (not) is that often you’ll see this either in our dining room or in a restaurant and the person asks for his/her plate to be cleared. I see this all of the time in restaurants.
If it please the court, Exhibit C:
Is this person finished eating?
Yep, this person is finished eating. The position of the utensils is the generally accepted signal, “Yes, I’m finished you can clear my plate.”
And last but not least, Exhibit D:
Never a good idea!
I see this a lot, in restaurants, and sadly, in our dining room. The second the customer/guest is finished eating he/she pushes his/her plate out of the place setting. And notice the placement of the utensils as well. No matter the situation, this is just never a good idea. Seriously. Yuck!
If you’ve ever worked in the food/hospitality industry where you’ve served people in some capacity you know of what I speak. These little table tips can make all the difference for a pleasant dining experience, white linen or not.
And now that I’ve shared these little pearls of wisdom, in the Court of Table Etiquette, how do you plead?!
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Manners?!? What happened to manners nowadays? Not having proper etiquette could totally make you look bad in any cultural setting. I’ve dined with people who start eating when the plate is dropped in front of them without waiting for others to get their food too. While I may have been annoyed when I was younger getting lessons from grandma, I sure appreciate it more all grown up.
Agreed Mig! Manners seem to be losing their place in our “hurry-up” society. And you’re right about it impacting your stay in another country/culture. Thanks for stopping by One Road at a Time!
This was great. I posted it on FB!
Elizabeth Rose recently posted…Wordless Wednesday: Rainbow Warrior Visit
Thanks so much, Elizabeth, greatly appreciated!
What a fun post to read, Patti! I loved the group picture too. My bio mom and step father had me over to their house when I was 16 or 17 years old for a seven course high end gourmet dinner. They always had these fancy parties with the most amazing food. But, mom especially, wanted to teach me all of the proper etiquette at the for a fine dining meal for “when you take a girl out to a really nice dinner (ya, on a McDonald’s salary).” I have to admit it was an amazing experience and I loved it. I’ve noticed the plates are attempted to be cleared off too quickly, too often at lunch when the wait staff is trying to push through the crowd and get them back to the office on time within the allowed hour. Thank you for the great read! 🙂
Mike recently posted…Making My First Umami Burger And An Amazing Macaroni Salad
Yep, that’s a great example of what I said about hurry, hurry, ding, ding! They just don’t get it. The management wants to turn over as many tables as possible in the shortest amount of time but in doing so they are shooting themselves in the foot because they are taking down the level of reputation and service and the server isn’t going to get much of a tip either.
I was once eating at a restaurant in Phoenix—and not a chain either. I was sitting there with a rib in my hand half way up to my mouth when the waiter with a hand on my plate asked me if I was finished. I’m usually a nice person, but my friends said I gave him a withering look and said something like, “Yes, I’m always still eating when I’m finished eating.”
Suzanne Fluhr (Boomeresque) recently posted…Philadelphia Phriday – Wissahickon Valley Park
Whoa, Suzanne, that’s a good story! Totally inexcusable, they don’t get it – that quality service equates to quality tipping!
I thought that it just must be me who likes to see a knife and fork neatly aligned to indicate the diner has finished – I’ve taken to gently inquiring if my Breakfast guests are resting or to put it in American “still working on it” these days – particularly if my poached eggs are congealing! I must say i sin though because I clear per couple not the table…………
Not a sin at all – it’s what works for you and that’s just great! Thanks so much for reading, I’m sure you have your own stories to tell! 😉
Love this story! And the pictures are so fun!
Your hard work sure has transformed your B & B into a beautiful home.
It’s been a labor of love!